When the bible states in John 3:16 that For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life, the word used for love in the Greek is agapao, like a - gop – a – oh, which basically translates as God had so much affection for the world that he was moved to do something about our sin problem as opposed to just having a feeling and sitting on the side lines.
So, what is my point?.
The point here is not to really talk about the salvation process so much but more so the motivation of what it truly means to love, especially so in a way that is meaningful, lasting and that will please God ultimately.
The saddest thing is when a person who is married whether it is a man or a woman makes a statement that they have fallen out of love or no longer are in love with their spouse.
Why do I say such a thing?
I say this because when and if that is the case in a relationship the reason will always point to the opposite of love and the thing that erodes it at the root, pride. You thought I would say hate right. Actually, hate is also born from pride as it is derived from an over focus on self to the point of detriment to self and others. In essence when a person concludes that they have fallen out of love or no longer love, they are actually saying that they are no longer willing to put forth the effort required to develop affection for their spouse. Once again, God so loved the world that he gave. Case in point is the affection of God moved him into action which thereby proved that affection for the world regardless of whether it was received or not, it did not stop him from taking action. However, the problem with so called “Falling out of love” is a minimizing of the fact that affection is like keeping a fire burning, it takes effort and resources that will be consumed in the process. In other words, once you stop putting forth the effort that fire will eventually die out. The same goes for agapao. This is the first thing that needs to be realized for anyone that falls into the so-called misconception of “falling out of love”, somewhere along the lines somebody stopped feeding the flames. First, realize that affection is self-generated. In order for a person to have affection for another they must contribute their own effort. However, when it is one sided it may not be reciprocated but as long as the flames are fed there will be affection felt from that party who is giving it. As long as that fire of affection is not overwhelming where it burns down the forest overtime even the coldest of hearts will feel its warmth and after time as long as it remains genuine the chances that the ice will melt away are great.
While there is so much more that can be said, the overall point here is to encourage any who find themselves in such a state of falling out of love to do some honest self-inspection. Ask yourself if you have really put forth any effort to generate or keep the flames of affection going in your heart so that you will be inclined to have a warmth for your loved one. Regardless of the grudges and bitterness you may have holed up, it is a matter of acknowledging and forgiving and putting forth the effort in spite of. If you are unwilling or feel that you are unable to do so than it is pointless to wonder why you have such a difficult time with having affection toward the other person. As long these things remain in your heart the fire will never be able to be kindled but also realize that this is not by nature but my choice. I mean that it is not that you can not love but you refuse to do what it takes to rekindle that love.
I don’t say these things to pick on, put down or discourage but am just getting to the root of the problem and hoping that you are willing to receive it so that things have the chance to change. I encourage you to always remember that love is always a matter of choice followed by effort and creativity that must be continual to keep it thriving. Overtime, if the effort diminishes the love will gradually diminish, this is the case both carnally and spiritually, consider it a law as that of nature that will not change.